I had a boss once who liked to say bad news was like a dead fish… not fine wine.
Because it only gets worse with age.
I liked that analogy. Not that it holds much relevance to this article, except to say that the Jett by Hot Octopuss is definitely in the ‘fine wine’ category.
I received my JETT a couple of months ago, I loved it, and I promised to write a follow up review about living with the Jett – once the initial novelty wore off.
Easier said than done
It’s taken a while to write this follow up, simply because the novelty refuses to wear off!
The bass, the treble, and the hands free fun is still as fantastic today as it was the first time I experienced it.
This causes quite a conundrum when trying to write a follow up review. If the Jett was mind blowing initially, and it still is, finding something new to say is pretty difficult!
Therefore you should be prepared for a review that flows about as smoothly as peanut butter in the arctic circle.
I want to write pieces that add to the conversation, not just rehash what I wrote previously or paraphrase someone else’s review plagiarised from the internet. My ‘follow up’ needed to offer something new, and hopefully be a bit entertaining.
This will probably fail on both accounts, but I’ll give it a red hot crack anyway.
So what is the Jett again?
Make no mistake, the Jett isn’t a cockring. And it’s not one of those shitty disposable pieces of stretchy junk with an underwhelming cheap bullet vibe attached. Its a genuine dick gamechanger, and one that can take you from soft to hard to explosion in less time than it takes to beat autocorrect into submission trying to write Jett with two ‘t’s.
There’s literally nothing else like this on the market. Choices for penis focused sex toys seem to be going though a bit of golden age, which for the most part that simply means sorting quality items from cheap and ineffective cash-ins is becoming harder.
There’s toys that stroke, and suck, and pulsate. There’s ones with ribs, with nubs, and with ridges. There’s ones to stick your dick on, or in, or to. You have the choice to fuck something in your shower, your couch, or your car dealership (don’t do that last one).
There’s nothing else like the bass and treble tech that Hot Octopuss has jammed into this small and remarkable device.
The Jett shows that it’s worth paying a few extra dollars for a quality item that is practically guaranteed to get your rocks off. That’s not to say that it’s expensive (it’s currently just $89 at Lovehoney Australia)… but in a sea of cheap knock off toys, some may feel the temptation to go with a budget toy.
I beg you, resist that temptation. Why deprive yourself of great and simply settle for okay?
If you have a penis, and you want a great toy… then get the Jett. If you really want to love yourself (and isn’t that why you’re here?) then maybe even consider the Pulse.
I like Hot Octopuss products. I like their quality, I like the fact that they don’t take the piss… and that they genuinely seek to make great gear.
I love the ethos of Hot Octopuss… they offer adult toys that are accessible to everyone, providing pleasure for people of all abilities. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live with a disability, and to see sex toys actively designed to be used by everyone is something that should be recognised and celebrated.
Most of Hot Octopuss‘ toys don’t require an erection. The hands free nature of many of them allows for enjoyment by people living with conditions such as ‘amputation, arthritis, cerebral palsy, cerebrovascular disease, motor neurone disease, multiple sclerosis and Parkinson’s disease’.
The company has considered queer, trans, and non-binary people in their design process, as well as older customers.
Whether you’re rocking a cock or a vulva, if you’re transitioning, or can’t do penetrative sex… Hot Octopuss is working to make sure you’re not left out.
They believe, as do I, that great sex is for everyone.
It’s right there on their website ‘sex is about people. All people. No matter what their circumstances or personal preferences.’
And that’s just cool as fuck.
How’s the Jett faring?
After just over three months of ownership (and use), the silicone band that cradles the two bullets and hugs your cock hasn’t degraded in any way. It still looks as good as the day it arrived, and the vibrations coursing through the frenelum are as strong as ever.
The Jett can still take me over the edge in record time. Speaking of edge, it’s a great device if you enjoy edging – you can ramp the vibrations up and down quickly and easily… giving you full control over your experience.
The finish on the chromed bullets remains scratch free and unmarked. There’s no separation in any of the joins, and the controller is still as responsive as ever. The cord hasn’t become brittle, or disconnected.
It’s super easy to clean and store.
All in all, it’s as if it was brand new.
And I still love it.
What would I change?
Not much, honestly. I reckon there’s probably potential for a deluxe version of the Jett for those seeking the next step up. Kind of like the difference between business and first class air travel… they’re both great, and they both achieve the same outcome… but if you want to spring for nicer booze and extra legroom the option is there.
In the case of the Jett, the controller could be more substantial – it could use a bit of ‘heft’ (though I realise this may have been a design choice to support users with limited dexterity or hand strength, so it’s not a dealbreaker).
The buttons could be backlit to make them easier to see in the dark, and could be soft press.
And it would be great if the cable was just a bit longer… I’m 6 foot 4, and sometimes the cord feels a little short.
But this really is me being super picky. The Jett is a great piece of kit, and I think everyone with a dick should have one.